Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Dogs and Cats:


Bored

Status: Offline
Posts: 1017
Date:
Dear Dogs and Cats:


I thought you would get a kick out of this--kids, too!!

 
To all Pet Owners

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4. Normally come when called (well, OK, the cat thinks about it).
5. Never ask to drive the car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink.
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
9. Don't want to wear your clothes.
10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.



__________________

I am and will always be ... Just Me

https://www.goherbalife.com/jhead1/en-US/Page/1



Beer Please

Status: Offline
Posts: 2093
Date:

Reading over this reminds me of so many conversations with IO that had her pointing her finger at me and shaking it.... especially that thing about the proper kissing order .... never really understood her beef about that ....

__________________

Available at ...lulu.com



http://www.numbersusa.com/index


Spank Me

Status: Offline
Posts: 283
Date:

ROFLMAO.....I like this.....and it's oh so true....

__________________
DO NOT touch my litter box!!!!!


yummy

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:

Man that is cute...i gotta send it to my mom....her dogs are her kids now.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard