WOMEN'S REVENGE
> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
>to purchase.
> As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
>television set in her purse.
> "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
> "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
>and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
>
>
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
>your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of
>a spider.
>
>
> CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
> A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
> The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
>
> He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
>
> She directs him down the correct aisle.
> A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball
>of string on the counter.
>
> She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons
>for your wife?
> He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
>store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin
>of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much
>cheaper.
> So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
>
>
> WIFE VS. HUSBAND
> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
>word.
> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
>to concede their position.
> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
>sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>
> REACTION
> A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
>and so beautiful all at the same time.
> "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
>would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted
>to you!"
>
>
> WHO DOES WHAT
>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
>coffee each morning.
> The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
>don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
> The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you
>should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
>coffee."
>
> Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
>that the man should do the coffee."
> Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
>at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
>
>
> The Silent Treatment
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
>each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
>next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
>morning business flight.
>
> Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
>on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he
>knew she would find it.
>
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
>he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
>wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
>The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
>
>
> God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough
>draft before the masterpiece.